Dear Dr. G.,
My son is 11-years-old. He has been talking about sex a lot. Also I have noticed that he has erections a lot. He came to me confused because he was masturbating and said something came out. He also confessed that one time he was thinking about me while doing it. Tonight he said he wants to have sex with me. I
didn't say anything. I just asked him to leave my room. His father lives in Florida. He is not has active in his life as he should be and he does not feel comfortable talking to him about these things. I don't know what to do. I also don't know what to say to him.
A Distressed Mother
Dear Mother,
Congratulations. Your son is now going through puberty and sounds very confused by the process. Interestingly, I get many letters from parents who are scared and confused when their sons express sexual attraction to them. It is not uncommon but it must be addressed. Please let your son know that while he may have an attraction toward you sex with you is inappropriate and will never happen. Let him know that later on in life he will find appropriate partners of the right age.
In the meantime I suggest that you get your son to the pediatrician who can speak to him about the normal changes that come along with puberty. He needs to learn that erections, sexual feelings, ejaculation and masturbation are normal and healthy aspects of growing up. He sounds scared and confused. It is a shame that his father is not available to talk to him about these issues but a pediatrician can deliver the same information and education and normalize the whole issue of puberty for your son.
Unfortunately, I believe that in this culture we are much more likely to prepare our girls for puberty than our boys. I hope that can change. Good luck with this process and please get back to me.
Dr. G.
To see more articles like this see my website:http://drbarbaragreenberg.com/
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