Dating as a teen can be certainly be complicated. Whether you're
looking for guidance with a problem that you are experiencing now, or if
you're just wondering what may be in store for you in the future, take
some time to learn about the common problems teens face while dating,
and get insight in how to solve them.
1. Unreturned Love
It's pretty common to fall for someone who doesn't return your
feelings, and it can certainly be painful. Keep in mind that just
because one particular person does not share your interest, that does
not mean that there is something wrong with you. That particular match
just isn't right - possibly because of timing or fundamental differences
that aren't apparent to you at this stage. Remember "when one door
closes, another door opens."
In the same respect, if you are a teen who has never been kissed or
in a relationship, you would be surprised at how many other teens or
people in the their 20s or even
30s
are in the same boat as you. Don't worry about a lack of experience;
living your life and just being happy are the some of the best ways to
attract someone. The right match will like you just the way you are.
2. Getting Noticed
Getting someone to notice you takes more than great make-up and cute
clothes. Find out what you have in common, and chat him up about that.
Smile, and be yourself. If your love interest doesn't notice you and
seems to return the attraction when you've spent time together, gotten
to know each other, and you've even flirted a little, it may be time to
move on to someone else. If he's just not that into you, find someone
equally fabulous who is.
3. First Love
First love is a good teenage love problem to have, but it can also be
like a rollercoaster ride. IT's normal for the feelings to be quite
intense. After all, the experiences are brand new, and you're also
dealing with the confusion, hormones, jealousy, and even pressure to
have sex. There are many consequences of having sex, and you unlikely to
regret waiting. Love that comes from the heart and love that comes from
hormones are two separate things - and it can be hard to tell the
difference when you are experiencing first love.
4. Interference from Friends
Even though teens you might not like to admit it, chances are that
you really care about what your friends think about you - and anyone
that you may be dating. It's a fact that peer pressure can ruin a
relationship. If your friends don't approve of your high school
sweetheart, you might be in trouble. The same goes for dating within a
group of friends. There might be pressure to date that certain person
and fit in, even though you would rather choose a guy or girl from
another group at school. Keep in mind that friends who make negative
comments about your love interests might be motivated by a desire to
protect you, but they may also be motivated by jealousy or fear of being
left behind if you get involved in a relationship. Listen to what they
have to say, but make up your own mind.
5. Lack of Maturity
While you may not want to admit it, the fact that you are young will
have an impact on your dating relationships. You're not supposed to have
the maturity level of an adult; after all, you are a teenager. Learning
how to stand up for yourself and say what you want when you're still
trying to figure things out can be tough - but it's a learning
experience that will help you grown into a responsible, assertive adult.
A guy might think a romantic evening is playing video games, while
girls might have high expectations for love and romance. Being in a
relationship takes two and there is a give and take that must satisfy
both people, no matter what the age.
6. Isolation
It's not healthy to get so involved with someone you are dating that
the two of you become isolated from other people. Don't distance
yourself from your friends just because you have a boyfriend or
girlfriend While it's not uncommon to feel the need to be with your love
interest all the time, it's not good for either of you - or the other
relationships in your life - in the long run. It's human nature to need
more than one person in your life. Isolation can be especially
devastating if you break up. Keep your friends in your life and spend
time with them, in addition to scheduling alone time with your romantic
partner.
7. Communication
Communication is an essential part of a relationship. It builds trust
and prevents misunderstandings. When you don't talk to your boyfriend
or girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings, you could be keeping
your relationship from growing. Without growth, love isn't able to
develop and continue. When you first start going out with someone, take
your time opening up, but if you find that you aren't able to speak
freely with this person after a good amount of time, that may be a sign
of a serious problem. If you're boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't open up to
you, it may be a sign of a lack of trust or comfort. You can help this
by asking questions and listening intently. The more your love interest
tells you, the better he or she will feel about telling you more.
8. Commitment Challenges
As a teenager, you're still figuring out who you are going to be -
and this can lead to differences in a desire for commitment in young
relationships. It's common for one person to want a long-term commitment
while the other person does not return feelings at the same level, or
is simply not ready for a long-term commitment at a young age. When
commitment and feelings aren't reciprocated, it can become difficult for
a relationship to continue. If you the one pushing for commitment, stop
and ask yourself what you really want. IF you want to enjoy spending
time with someone you care about, try to focus on "now" instead of what
may happen many years down the road. You still have plenty of growing
and developing to do.
9. Disapproval from Parents
Parental disapproval of teen relationships is very common, for a
variety of reasons. Your parents may have concerns regarding whether or
not you are truly ready to date or if the person you are interested in
might not be a good influence. They may also not be ready to admit that
their child is nearing adulthood. If you're dealing with this, try to
discuss your feelings calmly with your parents. Listen to them and be
ready to follow some rules about your relationship. If your parents
forbid you from seeing the person, you should abide their wishes. You
can still see your boyfriend or girlfriend at school and remain friends.
If you stay friends until after you graduate, you can start dating
again since you'll be old enough to make your own decisions. While this
may hard to accept at first, what is meant to be will be.
10. Changes in Life
As high school graduation approaches, you will face difficult
decisions. You and your boyfriend or girlfriend may go to different
colleges, join the military or move away to seek job prospects. Distance
can make sustaining a relationship difficult. It is possible to keep a
relationship going from a distance, but it is not easy. You may decide
to break up or to pursue a long distance relationship. Both of you have
to make great efforts to keep communication open and see each other
whenever you can. It's also important that you both trust each other and
resist temptation. By keeping the love you have for each other the
focus in your life, you'll be able to stay strong through the distance.
Remember the famous quote by
Richard Bach: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours."
11. Initiating a Break-Up
You're not looking forward to hurting your significant other's
feelings, but if you feel that the relationship isn't working out,
you're probably going to have to initiate a break-up. There are some
ways to take the sting out of it for the other person, however. Do it in
person, for example. If you're in a long-distance relationship, using
the phone will be better than sending a letter or a text (please don't
break up with anyone in a text). Don't point fingers. Not only could it
additionally hurt the dumpee's feelings, but if he feels inclined, he
could promise to change the things you mention, confusing you further.
Don't drag it out by avoiding the other person or making excuses about
why you can't go out with him. A clean break is less stressful for
everyone and you may be able to salvage a friendship later if the
breakup doesn't get too messy.
12. Dealing with an Abusive Relationship
If you're in an abusive relationship, alert your parents. Don't break
up with the abuser when you're completely alone together. Remember that
the abuser is the one with the problem; the abuse has nothing to do
with you. Surround yourself with family and friends as you ready
yourself to leave the relationship. For additional information,
13. Getting Dumped
Take a deep breath. Just because the relationship didn't work out the
way you'd hoped, that doesn't make you less of a person. Set a time
limit for yourself to be sad, stay in, watch movies, eat ice
cream-whatever makes you feel comforted. After that, get back to life as
usual, and don't forget to be your fabulous self. Enjoy being single
for a while, fill your weekends with things you love to do, and the
right person will show up eventually. Getting dumped does hurt your ego,
but enlist your best friends and closest family members in helping you
remember everything you have to offer. You'll be back to normal before
you know it.
14. Dating a Friend's Ex
Should you or shouldn't you date someone who used to go out with your
friend? In most cases, the answer to whether or not you should date a
friend's ex is a resounding no. There are some exceptions, however. If
they didn't date for very long and mutually decided that they were
better off as friends, it could be fine. Another time it could be okay
is if they dated long ago, and there are no leftover feelings. Ask your
friend's opinion first. Be aware that your friend may tell you it's fine
even when it isn't. Watch closely for body language cues. Keep in mind
that your friend won't want to hear the details of your relationship and
be ready to make a choice between the two if it does become a problem.
15. Cheating
Did your significant other cheat on you? Does that make him or her a
cheater for life? Maybe. Maybe not. Analyze your boyfriend or
girlfriend's behavior once you become aware of what took place. If he or
she is proactive in telling you what happened and seems truly sorry,
you could consider giving another chance. However, if a great deal of
lying and sneaking took place, the situation is different. If you can't
trust the person or if he or she seems disrespectful or defensive even
after you've discovered the cheating, end the relationship immediately.
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